life is a winding road

Lately I’ve been having too many problems, from settling back in arnhem, school, romance, and finding myself. At some point I think all of them is just too much to handle. Most of my problems involved future which make me worried my mind start to jump everywhere. The easy word to describe it is I’m shutting down.

The more I think about my problems the worst it get, the more I can’t see what I had and what I will have, every light surrounds me just started to fade and I feel like I’m walking in a darkness without knowing which way to go.

Just like Nelly Furtado said “the more I grow the less I know” I realize for now all I could do is just put all of the problems inside a box and try to live based on information that I have from today after all that’s the only information that I have, probably if I open and see what inside the box someday it was not a problem at all, I’ll never know. So I have decided that the best thing to do is doing what best for today and not keep looking back to yesterday. I’m not trying to foreseen the future either because I don’t have psychic power to do so.

So by now you might think that I am a man without a goal just live for today and see where it would lead me, but as a matter of fact I’m not. So here is my goals which I hope, and not expect will become a reality;

- By the end of may my internship will end, I will start fixing my grade and finish unfinished business at school,
- Since summer is a long and boring day I want to start looking for an internship either in Africa or Asia because I’ve never been to neither of those continent which I believe it might be a good experience for me; a complete blend of culture experience that I would have between east and west between developed country and developing country.
- Here we go again back to my life as a student for another year
- Hopefully by summer 2008 I’d be graduated
- In the end what I want to achieve is just to be a successful and happy person.

So there you go all my goals for now, I know the last one is a little bit sketchy but that’s all I could think of for now. I know a long the way there might be some detour, and probably I would stuck in some place for a while, but that’s why I believe that for now all I could do is just do the best for today, and don’t ask me if I could make those goals into reality I’m not a psychic, all I could do is just do the best for today and working towards my goal.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 15, 2007 at 10:42 AM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.